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How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits That Hold You Back

February 13, 2020 By Rylee

Our Teen Ambassador group participated in a webinar, “How Women Rise: Break the 12 habits that hold you back,” presented by Accenture and hosted by Canada Learning Code. This blog is a reflection of the session and is written by Rylee, one of our Teen Ambassadors who participated.

Let’s face it.

We’ve all had that “Why did I do that?” moment, whether it be in the classroom, in a meeting, on a field, or even a simple introduction, we have/will all experience that in our lives. In fact, we face issues like that every day. But no matter how much you dwell on that single moment, it won’t change anything, right?

Not precisely. Of course, one cannot go back in time, but it’s in our power to change the future. That exact mindset is what can help you to rise and Break the 12 habits that hold you back

We live in a society where workspaces are largely designed for men, by men. Women have to work extra hard to get where they want to be and part of that work includes not only career work, but personal work too. It is crucial to remember that we are our own advocates. The definition of “rising” is personal to us; the level at which we feel we are at our best can be different for everyone. It is important to remember that we are our own advocates.  

The Trap, Feeling Stuck and Reluctance When Claiming Well-deserved Greatness

One particular topic the webinar shed light on is the “Perfection Trap”, which described the behaviour of constant perfection. If it is not 100% perfect or is not as good as others, then it is bad. “It” could be anything from a project, presentation, sports performance to a test. I personally related to that. The “Perfection Trap” would keep me discouraged and upset at myself if I got a lower mark than usual on a test or if my presentation wasn’t done to the best of my abilities. Realizing how it impacted my mood and confidence overall helped me to not be so hard on myself. I learned that you have to be okay with not being 100% of anything to anyone. At the end of the day, the mark on my test doesn’t measure my worth or abilities as a student.

Another thing that really resonated with me is “feeling stuck” in your position and feeling like your contributions aren’t recognized. When Sarah explained to the Canada Learning Code Teen Ambassadors that “feeling stuck” roots from expecting others to notice your achievements. I related that to my academic life, recognizing just how I keep myself from growing. Nearly every moment where I could have spoken up for myself, I did not. I was so reliant on the thought that I would automatically be chosen for a position and the thought that I wouldn’t had not occurred to me. Now that I am aware of my own self-sabotaging habits, I have opened up more opportunities to grow and be a better self-advocate.

I’ve also realized that I have a habit of being reluctant to claim achievements. One major thing that was mentioned during the webinar was that women are more likely to use the word “we” instead of “I”. To put that in a scenario, if a woman at work finishes a pitch and succeeds, she’s more likely to minimize her success and be humble. This is detrimental because it takes the spotlight off of her and overall, does not do her any good. This exact mindset causes a person to keep themselves in a circle of doing their best, only to make it seem like they did not and yet, expecting or hoping for others to recognize their achievements. 

Let’s Rise, Together

This webinar was a real eye-opener. Recognizing the habits that hold me back helped me and many of the other Teen Ambassadors. Gaining confidence in the workplace, realizing behaviour lies in our control, and that we are our own advocate can all help us to rise above and be better. If there’s anything you walk away with after reading this blog, it’s “trying to change a behaviour that gets in the way rarely succeeds unless we understand the beliefs that inform it.” I hope that you can take my thoughts on “How Women Rise: Break the 12 habits that hold you back” and reflect so that we can collectively rise as women in the workplace.

Girl playing violin

Guest blog by Rylee, a Teen Ambassador of Canada Learning Code. Rylee is in grade 9. While she currently lives in Sudbury, Ontario, she is originally from Wikwemikoong Unceded Territory. She identifies as an Ojibwe woman whose hobbies include: playing tenor saxophone and violin, volleyball, activism, fundraising, volunteering, and just recently, coding!

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